Holly DeSouzaAs first time parents, my husband and I discover we have a laissez-faire approach to a lot of things. Music is one of them. We have varied taste and we do not tend to care about how many times a particular artist has been to prison or how many times they have been on the cover of People and US Weekly. I don’t want people to judge me on something that will in no way affect them or their lives; I apply that same line of thinking to others and I don’t care how famous (or infamous, in most circumstances) they may be.  That being said, I have failed in monitoring the actual words my …

Tasha Schlake FestelI am probably in the minority, but for the first time in the 5 years since I’ve had children going to school, I am truly dreading September 6, 2011. I don’t want the summer to end. I don’t want to be away from my kids 5 days a week for hours and hours. I don’t want to be the mother of a kindergartner and second grader. I think this year my kids even have mixed feelings about going back. Sure, they’re excited, but we’ve had a darn good summer and we all still like each other. We’re not done doing everything we want to do. We have weeks’ worth of activities planned in our …

Holly DeSouzaWe had a barbeque a few weeks back and it was a BYOB event. Due to an unfortunate lack of proper scheduling on my part, it ended up I had no choice but to bring my daughter to the liquor store with me. As we were walking in she asked me why we were going into this store and I casually told her we needed to pick up beer for the party. She then dramatically waves her arms out Vanna White- style towards the wine bottles in the front of the store and loudly asks, “So, we don’t need any of Mommy’s juice, then, right?”.  Hello, mortification.  My name is Mommy. I consider myself a …

Regina MartineWhen my I was pregnant with my son, and trying to do some freelance design work at home, a neighbor recommended I hire her sitter as a mother’s helper to watch my girls so I could get some work done. I had her come over and meet the girls to make sure it was the right “fit.” They liked her and I liked her, so I asked her to come two afternoons a week. So twice a week, she painted their toenails and read them stories and took them for walks to the playground and the library. She made brownies with them and splashed with them in the kiddie pool. I could work or run errands or just…

Tasha Schlake FestelAnyone who knows me knows I’ll talk about pretty much anything, anytime, anywhere… often to my husband’s chagrin. This generally applies to my children as well. However, to be honest, prior to this week’s topic, I hadn’t spent a lot of time considering how I was going to discuss sex with my kids. They’re 5 and 7. Sex isn’t on my radar for impending discussions, unlike “you may not hit in kindergarten” and “there is a difference between being honest and being a jerk.”  While knowledge is power and all that hoo-hah, I’m OK with my children not being too powerful in this …

"Dear Wakefield Moms' Council, I have a picky eater of a child. What can I do to expand my child’s culinary palette?"- Wakefield Patch reader Amanda M. Regina MartineI have three children with three very different attitudes toward food. My oldest daughter has been a vegetarian for more than two years but other than avoiding meat, she is the most adventurous eater of my kids. My middle daughter is more of a classic “picky eater.” She would happily subsist on cereal, peanut butter and honey sandwiches, apples, and pasta with peas and butter. She is the most apprehensive about trying new things…

Tasha Schlake Festel I’m a big fan of Phineas and Ferb and have been completely inspired by them this summer. In tribute, I’d like to express our summer plans to the tune of their “The Best Day Ever” theme song. There are seventy days of Wakefield’s summer vacation, 'Till school comes along just to end it, So the annual problem for Moms in this nation, Is finding a good way to spend itLike maybe... Building a robot, or fighting Darth Vader, Or climbing up the Breakheart trails, Boogie boarding in the Ou-outer Banks Or locating tidal pool snails!Going to summer school, creating sand castles, …

This week, a Wakefield mom wrote in with an issue:“What do you do when you know something about your child’s friend that you believe the friends parents should be made aware of?   My children are older teens now so the issues that arise can be quite serious, immoral or even illegal. I would love to hear what other parents think on the matter of 'ratting out' your kid's friends?" The Moms' Council would like to encourage all readers to send questions to the editor (sara.jacobi@patch.com) or to any of the authors. Additionally, please feel free to chime in at the end of the article in the …

Peggy BarresiAs I’ve mentioned before, I grew up in Puerto Rico. I wore string bikinis year-round. One piece bathing suits were for old people. I looked amazing, but I thought I was fat. As I grew older and piled on a few pounds, my bikini days ended and the one-piece days began. I still looked good, but I thought I was really fat. Then I gained 60 pounds with each of my pregnancies. I lost most of the weight after the first one, and some of the weight after the second. While my husband and I tried to eat healthfully, I had plenty of excuses to not exercise, usually based on the premise of “I…

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.  ~Author Unknown Peggy BarresiI was raised primarily by my grandparents, so if you think your Dad was old-fashioned, think again. Our opinions differed the most when it came to clothes (Grandpa preferred me in dresses; I liked jeans), and boys (I liked them; he didn’t and was delusional enough to think he’d be chaperoning my dates.) He barely tolerated my music, friends (those hippies), and career choice (anything that didn’t involve accounting was useless.) He was otherwise barely involved in my day-to-day …

What is a parent's role in defining/dictating a child's fashion? From clothing, to hair, to piercings, to tattoos, where does a parent's input end and a child's right to self-expression begin? Holly DeSouzaA parent recently told me they wish the Wakefield school system would adopt a dress code that was not as strict as a uniform but far more strict that what she has seen her first grade son’s classmates wearing.  As I look at my daughter after she demanded to dress herself today I lean towards town intervention to make my job as the enforcer easier.  To give you a visual, she is wearing a …

Wakefield Patch reader Tom L. recently adopted two young children ages 4 and 6 and asked: "How do you teach your child to control his or her temper?" Holly DeSouzaWhoever coined “terrible twos” must have had an unusually unruly two-year-old.  My thought behind that is mostly due to my sweet and fun two year old that broke out of her shell and turned into an occasionally nasty and demanding four-year-old. When she was two, she had her spells of tantrums (generally in public, as discussed in previous columns) but was more often than not a happy, smiling child.  We have now crossed into a place …

With the tragic deaths of children at their mother's hands in the news again, we asked the question, "How do you handle the Mommy Blues?" Peggy BarresiWhether you’re a working mother or a stay-at-home mom, and I’ve been both, you face many challenges. Keeping your sanity is a top priority, yet we often leave ourselves completely off our “to do” lists. Big mistake. In my house we have a saying: If mama’s not happy, NOBODY is happy. Take stock of your mental health regularly. Are you feeling particularly stressed? Do you need a break from the routine and responsibilities of parenting? Sometimes…

Family pets feel just like that: Family. So what happens when one passes away? This week, the Wakefield Moms' Council shares their stories on teaching children about life, love, and death of the family pet. "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains un-awakened." Anatole France Regina MartineWe buried Speckle Thursday morning before school. He was a good fish — the latest in a long line of goldfish to go belly up in our care. Last summer my kids made a beautiful mosaic stepping stone to mark the goldfish graveyard in our garden, where Speckle and the others were laid to rest…

To shield, explain, or avoid: What strategies do you evoke as a parent to help your children deal with what's going on in the larger world around them? Tasha Schlake FestelI am not usually that mom who shields a lot from her kids. If they ask questions, I do my best to answer them honestly and completely. If they see something on TV or overhear grown-ups talking, I try my best to explain things and put them into a context they will understand. It makes their world make more sense and allows them to understand their place in it. That being said, I do shield my kids from the news as much as …

In honor of Mother's Day the Moms' Council is discussing how mothering/parenting has changed since we were kids. While some things have changed dramatically there is one thing that remains the same that is best summed up by Elizabeth Stone, “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” Happy Mother's Day! Holly DeSouzaWhen I was pregnant, all I could think about was how much I wanted an Italian sub with all-l-l-l the fixin’s.  Deli meats were not allowed.  Sweeteners were not allowed (I blame my turning into…

So just who the heck are these savvy and opinionated ladies anyway?  This week the Wakefield Moms' Council opens up and shares a little bit about themselves.  The common theme is a love of Wakefield and, for some of them, no love lost for housework… Regina MartineWhen I was asked to write for Wakefield Patch, I joked that I was picked for my writing ability, not my parenting ability, since my resume was basically two years of snarkily complaining on Facebook about being a stay-at-home mom. I have no real qualifications to give out parenting advice other than my own experiences. Besides being …

This week is Holy Week for Christians with Easter Sunday marking the end of Lent, the seven days of Passover started on April 19th at sundown for Jews, Buddhists will celebrate the Theravadin New Year, Jehovah’s Witnesses will celebrate the Lord’s Evening Meal on the 18th and Hindus celebrate Hanuman Jayanti that same day. And for others - it's simply school vacation week. This week the Moms' Council is addressing the topic of religion. Our group includes Christians as well as Atheists.  While brainstorming for topics we learned from each other that it can sometimes be just as hard to raise …

Tasha Schlake Festel“Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” “Um, no, and if you ask me again, I’m going to turn this car around and we will never get there!” Sound familiar? Thanks to the wonders of technology, the creativity invited by white boards, the inquisitiveness encouraged by maps and the silencing power of unhealthy snacks, I don’t hear much of that in my car anymore. Phew! We travel with the kids a lot. My parents live in Pennsylvania, my grandparents in upstate New York and my in-laws on the South Shore. Every summer, we vacation …

There are all kinds of reasons why children don't sleep through the night - age, fear of the dark, nightmares or terrors - or - just plain stubbornness. This week, the Wakefield Moms' Council shares their strategies for - and frustrations with - getting a good night's sleep. Regina Martine:I have the dubious distinction of being the “inspiration” for this week’s column, since I have spent the last two weeks battling a six-year-old boy who refuses to sleep. All three of my kids go to bed pretty easily, with the usual “can I just have a little drink of water?” “Can you sing me one more song?” “…