Author Pamela Druckerman in her recent Wall Street Journal article, “Why French Parents are Superior” speaks of the American style of parenting as “anything goes” or “n'importe quoi.” This is opposed to the French style of “cadre”, or frame – meaning French children have very firm limits. First, read the article. Then, consider:  How does our American parenting style compare to the French? Regina MartineDisclaimer: I have never been to France, I don’t know any French families, and I have lived in the US of A my whole life, so this is just a response to Pamela Druckerman’s article and a little…

Laurie HuntAs much as I want to be there and hold my children’s hands through everything, I try my best to have them work through their fears on their own with my support and encouragement. When children are really young they often pause to see our reaction before they decide. It is a quick pause but it can really make a difference. I remember once seeing a mother saying, in a frantic voice, to her young child as a dog came near, “It’s okay, it’s okay… he won’t bite you, he won’t hurt you, it’s okay." The kid really wasn’t feeling it because neither was Mom. Sometimes a Mom has to look deep …

In the 1993 film Groundhog Day, Bill Murray’s character, Phil Connors, is forced to repeat the same day over and over again, compelling him to re-examine his life and priorities. With Punxsutawney Phil in the news this week, the Patch Mamas got to thinking about their own personal Groundhog Days and the drudgery that is – or isn’t - motherhood. Like Bill Murray’s Phil, do you live the same day over and over? How do you break the cycle? Jillian SalleeMy day begins with a 4:50 a.m. alarm and I head to the gym for my couch to 5k run and short circuit. I’m usually home by 6:05 a.m., kiss the …

Regina MartineI have had many, many moments as a parent that I am not proud of. Some of them are funny in retrospect, like when I tied my daughter to a chair with a scarf to get her to stop screaming (she did – and thought my method was hilarious) but some are decidedly not. My husband tells a funny story about his own father screaming “HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KILLED!?!?!?!” in his face when he was caught in some teenage transgression. He answered, “um … no.” and tried in vain not to laugh in his dad’s face. This of course broke the tension and everyone realized they needed to turn it down a notch…

MomTalk News: The Wakefield Patch Moms welcome our newest member, Jillian Sallee! Jillian is supermom to three wonderful kids and works two days a week at Tall Spire Pre-school in Wakefield as well working for her Mom’s daycare. We look forward to Jillian’s contributions each week. Jillian SalleeImagine, if you will, Central Park, New York City. It’s a hot summer day in August, and thousands of people are enjoying the park. My family is walking around, enjoying the sights, and people-watching. My newborn son is in the Baby Bjorn, enjoying the motion of our walk, when all of a sudden he …

Laurie HuntThis topic really bothers me. I wish, in general, more people were considerate when it comes to entertaining and/or visiting when ill. This goes beyond parenting as there are many reasons to be considerate. People may have a trip coming up, a surgery/procedure, be on a medication that impacts their immune system, have an upcoming important/crazy time at work, need to care for an elderly/sick relative… the list goes on. The reader who posed this question said she felt obligated to stay as the party was a family event the weekend before Christmas. Well, the poor thing had to deal …

Tasha Schlake Festel In 2012, I resolve to: …exercise regularly. …eat better. …stop yelling. …paint my toenails, despite having them regularly covered in socks. …accessorize to the 9’s at all times. …give up sweets, but continue to peddle them shamelessly. …watch less television. …read self-help magazines, like People StyleWatch. …do my best to make others feel inadequate in my presence because they know they’ll just never be as good as I am. …vacuum, dust and keep my house clean. OK, who am I kidding? I won’t actually vacuum, dust or clean regularly. That’s just crazy talk. But the rest of …

Tasha Schlake Festel How do I handle holiday stress? One word: Eggnog. Pour what you like in it to do the trick. I prefer Cognac. Others like rum, perhaps a little bourbon, possibly brandy, even amaretto. Ah, good stuff. There are days when all that gets me through the day is the thought of that sweet and creamy treat with a satisfying kick. Sure, it’s not great for the diet, but is there anything about the holidays that is good for the waistline? Sadly, this is a temporary and fleeting fix, only available after 5 p.m. So, what can you do when it’s not appropriate to marinate your holiday …

Peggy BarresiMy youngest daughter had her First Communion the same year that the Catholic priest sexual abuse scandal broke. In the Catholic Church, children must have their first confession before getting Communion. This is a private, one-one-one situation with a priest. Because there were so many children in our parish, St. Joseph’s, the church would bring in extra priests for first confessions. Father Steele, who was the pastor then, assured all the parents that he knew these priests personally and that our children would be better than safe. Our children were fine that day, but as it …

[Note: For some background on this issue, check out this WBUR article.] Regina MartineI can’t say I loved being pregnant, and I loved it a little less each time, but I had really easy pregnancies. No morning sickness, no complications, no real problems at all, except for the last four weeks of feeling like a giant, cranky whale who just wanted to get that baby out ASAP. By the end of each pregnancy, I was ready to do just about anything to get those babies out of me, but I never wanted a C-section, or even thought it was a possibility. I never even read the C-section chapters in all my …

The holidays can be stressful for so many reasons. This week, we, the Patch Mamas, are hoping to help you out just a little bit. Instead of regaling you with amusing anecdotes of our delinquent children, we thought we’d actually try to provide you with a service: Real advice. If your kids are anything like ours, they eat at the table as though they’ve been raised in a barn. Yes, yes, of course, we know why. Too many meals in front of the television. Too many dinners grabbed on the run. Too much multi-tasking by mom to correct their behavior. We often know the origin of bad manners, but don’t …

Laurie HuntBeing a Mom is honestly the most rewarding and amazing thing I have ever done in my life.  Being a Mom is the reason I get up and do what I do each day.  It has also been the most exhausting, scariest and wildest ride I have ever been on. I still remember like it was yesterday how beautiful it was when I met each of my children for the first time.  I remember loving how attached my babies were to me, how great it made me feel. More than a decade later I am still unable to use the bathroom without hearing "Muuuuuuum!" outside the door.  For a while it seemed so romantic to get up …

Tasha Schlake FestelRace to Nowhere is a powerful film with an ambitious agenda to fundamentally change education in America. It details the stress America’s kids are under as a result of too much homework, pressure to get in to college and being overscheduled. The story is told by students, teachers and parents and the message is clear: We are harming our children. For me, the film was thought-provoking but not surprising. What I found most surprising is that some viewers of the film were shocked by its content. I am pretty sure I ran the race to nowhere myself when I was a kid. I was also “…

Peggy Barresi Most kids love animals. They beg to have a pet, and promise they will feed it, walk it, play with it, groom it and generally do whatever is necessary to take care of it. And, they will. For about a week or so. Trust me, the honeymoon phase is short. At that point, the pet is yours, my friend. Whether it’s a fish you have to feed, a dog you have to walk twice a day, or a cat whose kitty litter you need to clean, the bulk of the responsibility will be yours. Deciding whether to get a fish or hamster is one thing. Thinking about getting a cat or a dog is another thing entirely. “…

Peggy BarresiWhen I was growing up, volunteering was not part of my family’s lexicon. “Giving back” was limited to writing checks for charities. I did zero community service in high school, college, or throughout my early adult life. It really wasn’t until I had kids that the urge to volunteer hit me, and hit me hard. I started with small stints in the classroom or chaperoning field trips, whenever work commitments would allow. My first full-fledged effort was participating in the first Boston Avon 3-Day Walk. I raised almost $4,000 from people who were probably amused to think of me walking …

Peggy BarresiI’ve never been much of a germaphobe. When my daughters were infants, I did the usual bottle sterilization and kept things clean, but never in a fanatical way. As they grew older, they learned the importance of hand washing and covering their mouths when coughing and sneezing. This has since been amended to “cough or sneeze into the crook of your elbow.” I am not a big Purell fan, either. It’s just one more thing to have to think about. Besides, kids need to build some immunity to germs on their own, otherwise they’ll spend their lives trying to dodge the illness bullet. I do …

Laurie HuntMy kids think it is pretty cool to buy school lunch. My oldest declared this year she wanted to buy every day, I think this is because for three years she went to a school without a cafeteria and it was a novelty. I decided not to fight it and I let her do it. Guess what? The novelty wore off, as I expected it would, and we are back to bringing lunch.  The hard thing is at her last school I could pack peanut butter, nuts – they could even trade with their friends!  There is none of that in public school.  My youngest daughter is tough when it comes to eating during the day; she is …

Holly DeSouzaI realize every mother is supposed to think their kid is brilliant.  I am no exception – well, with the obvious exception that my four-year-old IS brilliant. Don’t fight me on it. You won’t win. All moments not grounded in reality aside, I do not feel my child is a genius. I do know she is a social and smart four-year-old who is days away (literally) from turning five. She has been enrolled in school and various activities which exercise both sides of her brain since she was seven months old. She has her moments where she exhibits typical weaknesses that each and every young …

Holly DeSouzaMy daughter is an only child. As much as I would love to have the time to occupy her 24/7, it is not feasible. Although there are days I feel I am more of a social director for the under 4’ tall crowd, I do have other responsibilities outside of playing Barbies or dress up or veterinarian to a group of constantly sick and quickly recovering stuffed animals. Because there is no one else actually breathing who is here during the days to play with her, Lexi sometimes gets bored and lonely. And, because I am not going to have another baby simply to give my daughter a constant play …

Peggy BarresiLike it or not, when they’re apart, today’s tweens and teens don’t connect with each other via phone the way we did. Instead, they communicate in spurts via text messaging and on Facebook. This allows them to continue to multi-task while still “talking.” I’m not saying this is good or bad. It is just reality. If your kid doesn’t have a cell phone, his or her social life is going to suffer. I’m sure parents were aghast back when teens spent hours on the telephone. They probably worried that none of their children would know how to write a proper letter. Well, the telephone …